What the hell does it mean to look like a jennifer ?

The school nurse keeps on thinking my name is Jennifer.

I asked my friends: “Do I look life a Jennifer?”

S: Yes

K: I can see it

M: Totally

N: Yeah

J: Nope

Hopefully we’re talking about Jennifer Lawerence right?

I saw the school  nurse later at Pure Thai. My Dad picked me up at lunch to take me home. I’ve got a stuffy nose and sore throat. No fever, but I felt oddly warm. I asked him if we could grab some Thai food on the way home, and the nurse was there waiting to pick up some fried rice. I’d seen her just about fifteen minutes before hand so it was a little awkward to say the least. We all stood together and made small talk. She’d told me she’d seen some students on her way over here, but she pretended not to see them for peace of mind. I wonder if she thought I was lying about being sick just so I could eat some Pad Thai at my house.

And today I’m home listening to Bored by Billie Eilish. Except I’m not bored. I’m enjoying Netflixing episode after episode of Gossip Girl, and laying curled up in my bed.

My teacher slipped me on a note on Monday telling me to “Find my voice” during our class discussion about “East of Eden”. I didn’t say anything during the discussion. Public speaking really freaks me out. I know that I could speak up, if I really had to, but I choose not to. I feel like I’ve disappointed her. Today was supposed to be another class discussion on it, but here I am.

Also there’s a race today. J would have actually been there since her sister’s running. It would have been fun to hang out with her and A. I can’t see myself sniffing and coughing through the two mile though.

Monday night A texted me that she was coming over. It was 8:30. I sent back: Ok! You ok? Immediately she called me. She was crying onto the phone that she was with her boyfriend and they were stopping by my house. Several scenarios flew through my mind: parents getting a divorce, cat died, her boyfriend and her are splitting, something happened to her brother….

I sat outside of my house and waited. I vaguely saw them walking down the hill in the dark; I ran over to meet them. A smiled, but she had tears in her eyes. I gave her a hug and she brokenly exclaimed that Chika had died. Chika is the cat. Her first and only pet. I held her and told her I was sorry. Me, T, and A started to walk. T was holding her hand, my arm was around her shoulder. We went to the park and talked. I don’t think anything I said was really making her feel better. She kept apologizing for her eyes welling up and for pulling me out of my house. That’s my best friend for you; always apologizing for things she doesn’t need to be sorry for. It was a sad night.

 

This Saturday I’m going over Steve’s house for the first time. I don’t know what to expect. Apparently Saturday Steve and my Mom are dining with my doctor (her boss) and husband. So my sister and I will stay alone at his house. It’s kinda weird that it’s only going to be the second time I’ll be seeing him and I’m already “moving in” to his house. I don’t know. We’re going to some country club on Sunday for lunch? My Mom kept reminding me on the phone to

“Make sure you’re back at your Dad’s house by 12:30 because I have a very very important and expensive hair appointment at 2.” 

She keeps calling me and warning me about it. Yes Mom I get it. I will hopefully be back at 12:30 from the refugee center, but no offense, it’s a lot more important than the grey hairs you’re getting highlighted. Okay?

 

I’m feeling kinda lonely right now. I wish I had someone to cuddle with. That’s so cheesy oh my goodness. I’m watching too many rom coms. Help me.

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